You told me to be true to myself but you didn't tell me which side of me to be true to.

Terlalu banyak ingin,
Terlalu banyak ragu.

Beribu prasangka,
Berjuta cinta.

Untaian doa moga bersimpul menjadi pelangi syurga.

*     *     *     *     *

Jujur, aku bukan orang seni. Kata mereka, orang sains dan matematik? But I guess not. I'm just trapped in between and wished the best of both worlds. Aku mahu hilang dalam karya-karya berseni. Menilai dengan mata hati, tenggelam dalam lamunan sendiri. Merungkai makna tersembunyi, berbicara hati ke hati. 26 jumlah aksara, tapi punyai aura luar biasa. Jelas tapi tersembunyi. Misteri.

Aku rasa orang sastera ni adalah thinker. Deep thinker. Calm and wise.

Bukan semua orang boleh menterjemah apa yang di rasa dalam hati.

Nota kaki:
- Rindu tanah seberang, rindu nak borong buku, rindu nak tenggelam dalam indah lenggok bahasa, rindu mahu merasa rasa.

Kepci dah bukak, kak fezi pun dah grad

Pakai ladylike dah, skirt dengan shawl lilit-lilit, yakin dah ni boleh nak nampak macam perempuan ayu sikit. Sekali bila tengah jalan pastu nampak kat bayang-bayang,
"Mak aih! Jalan macam lelaki. Macam gengster je."

*facepalm*

*nanges sambil kesat hingus*

Kalau kena jalan sensorang, macam lipas kudung je. Jalan memang confirm la tak nampak macam perempuan. Haru je. Lupa dah tatasusila nak berjalan. Catwalk tu memang tak lah! Lagi-lagi la kalau kat India ni, pastu nampak oraing Malaysia yang tak dikenali kat depan, macam tak cukup tanah je jalan. (Especially kalau jantina lelaki)

But I guess that is for better, jimat masa nak berjalan, tak payah nak terhegeh-hegeh depan orang. Tapi satu je, buruk dipandangan mata. TT__TT

Hari ni senior punya graduation.

Nota kaki:

● KFC, Domino dan Subway, dah ada kat Belgaum. Ironinya bukak dekat Medical College, dekat auditorium yang masih under renovation tu. Bertambah-tambah la masalah berat badan nanti. Hospital pun makin bertambah pengunjung.

Well, hello to the new fastfood fanchies!

●Nah gamba sebijik! Dengan kak fezi.

Domino yang yindiyaaa sangatttt

Kepci perosak impian kalau berangan diet 

Cracked vessel

Presumably you are a vessel.
Lets say in this case, a vase. ceramic or glass, something that breaks.

Throughout your life, you encounter series of events that challenge your strength, your internal strengh I meant. You have been taught to be strong, to fight and to hold on. To embrace the fact that nothing is perfect and nobody is going to pick you up if you did not get up yourself. So you mend your broken heart, you nurse your wound, you cried in pain.....all by yourself.

Like what people always said;
"What doesn't kills you, make you stronger."

Now I wonder what good it does if become stronger has transformed you to become heartless, to become numb of the pain that you no longer shed any tears even when you wanted to. You grew up to be somebody that you thought you supposed to be. You thought that an adult shouldn't cry even if it hurts, never shows the fear even when if it really scares you, you just don't react to the situation as you used to be.

The vase, it broke multiple times. And you without fail, pick up those broken pieces though it makes you bleed. You glued it all together, and TADAA!!! It is as good as before. (or at least what it looks like)
But you know it has defect, because you lost those minute pieces. Everytime you pour water in the vase, it leaks but nobody noticed it except for you.

You live in denial, oblivion and forever hiding the truth, thinking that if people doesn't noticed, it means that everything is still in the 'okay' scale. But you forgot, you cannot store anything in the vessel because it is broken. You could but you wouldn't throw it away and just get a new one because then people would know that your vessel is broken and you have to swallow your pride to face them, to admit that YOU ARE BROKEN.







Do you think we can be that innocent again?

Because you know, I am sick of hiding in the adulthood.

“How hurtful it can be to deny one’s true self and live a life of lies just to appease others.”

—	June Ahern