Feeling so much inadequacies, be it as a doctor or just a human being. I tried and I lied to myself that it actually means nothing but I feel that it is not the right way. Peoples keep on telling me not to take what others say about me that much, most important is not to let them affect me. I know it better that though it seems harsh and not understanding, part of it still true. I know the old lady meant well but I hate it when I can't tell her that I am trying my best to do the right thing here and she insisted me to learn Kannada, say all not nice things as if I purposely put the IV line on the dorsum of the hand instead of the arm because it is more painful there or as if I am doing harm to the patient by refused to give them IV fluids or injections when it is not necessary at all.

I think I am upset with myself. Not her.

Troye Sivan - The Fault In Our Stars

The weight

of a simple human emotion

weighs me down

more than the tank ever did

The pain

it's determined and demanding

to ache, but I'm okay . . .

And I don't want to let this go

I don't want to lose control

I just want to see the stars with you

And I don't wanna say goodbye

someone tell me why

I just want to see the stars with you

You lost, a part of your existence

in the war, against yourself

oh, the lights,

they light up in lights of sadness

telling you, it's time to go

And I don't want to let this go

I don't want to lose control

I just want to see the stars with you

And I don't wanna say goodbye

someone tell me why

I just want to see the stars with you

Don't give it up just yet stay grand

for one more minute, don't give it up

just yet stay grand(no)

Don't give it up just yet stay grand

for one more minute, don't give it up

just yet stay grand(no)

Don't give it up just yet stay grand

for one more minute, don't give it up

just yet stay grand

And I don't want to let this go

I don't want to lose control

I just want to see the stars with you

And I don't wanna say goodbye

someone tell me why

I just want to see the stars with you

With you

dreaming with broken heart

sometimes we just simply fall in love with a stranger.

be it the innocent smile or the sweetest laughter.

and when we do, we often wonder.

baffled with entangled feelings, we wander.




we ask so many question just to end in confusion.

not be able to comprehend the greater decision.

we retreat so that we are not defeat

but is it so or are we stupid?





have you ever think that it might be an order?

that you two are destined to love before you know each other.

that your hearts melted together before your mind even register.

perhaps it is not forever, but it is now -- not later.

love me, set me free.

pull me into the gravity.

but when the time comes you might leave me,

for you and I are not living in infinity.





#tetibadeepmalambuta #sejakbilatulispuisi #tajuktakdekaitan #pinjamtajuklaguje

she was making the cow dung cakes, in other no so nice words it is 'dried cow shit's patties' which later she will use as fuel to cook.

oh ye, makcik yang sama yang bagi buah mangga muda tu.