kau arjuna beta (bila sampai masanya)

“That's the nature of being a parent, Sabine has discovered. You'll love your children far more than you ever loved your parents, and -- in the recognition that your own children cannot fathom the depth of your love -- you come to understand the tragic, unrequited love of your own parents.” ― Ursula Hegi

sayang seorang ibu, sayang seorang bapa.
lebih sering tak jelas, tak terungkap.
seperti sering lagak manusia--benci lebih jelas dari cinta.
apa lah seorang anak tahu dalam mana kasih, besar mana sayang.
apa yang mereka sanggup buat untuk kita.

apa sangat lah sayang cinta kekasih kau tu.
belum teruji perit kemiskinan, tekanan pembangunan--
dalam membesarkan engkau.
belum lagi tahu perangai kau yang buruk keji,
segala hantu jembalang dalam almari--
mungkin sahaja dia berlari pergi.

Hiduplah Arjuna beta
Biarkan jasad yang luka

Selama Tuhan mu ada...

Takkan engkau tercela

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Ini bukan post sebab kemaruk nak kawen or anything like that.

It just that it is so beautiful to see how a tiny soul can change a person.
Seriously, maturity is not about age at all. It more than being a plain, dull adult.To see a mother loves and  protects her child buat aku rasa,

"...berbahagialah penduduk bumi, Tuhanmu telah berbagi cintaNya dalam seorang ummi."

I don't know about you, but I am raised in a typical Malaysian family. We don't say we love each other every now and then, or gesture it much in our daily actions. More often we hurt each other by getting agry and pissed off just because of teeny-weeny things or maybe appreaciate or praise other people than our family members. Susah nak cakap sayang tapi masing-masing faham sendiri. I'd say it is rather awkward than sweet or something that you'll say..... "Awwww~" (This is not the pondan kind of tone)

marah itu tandanya sayang.
klise-- aku tahu itu.

...but we both know that is true.


I wish to be a better parent, to have a different way to raise my child(ren). Or maybe I'll end up being what we know best-- our typical Malaysian family. I don't know. I seriously don't. I wish, I hope, I pray that Allah will give guidance to follow the rules of Islam-- to me, to us.

"Parenting starts before marriage and the first child you'll raise is yourself. "
-quoted

#semputlimabelassaat

Susahnya lah nak buat perubahan, nak berlari meredah arus.
Susah jadi berbeza walaupun perbezaan yang jauh lebih baik.

Admit it.
We rather be normal than not to be accepted in the society because it is easier that way.
Right?

Ketika aku minta yang tampan, aku berpikir sudah cantikkah aku? Ketika aku minta yang cukup harta, aku berpikir sudah cukupkah hartaku? Ketika aku minta yang baik, aku berpikir sudah cukup baikkah diriku? Bahkan.... Ketika aku minta yang soleh, bergetar seluruh tubuhku sambil berpikir panjang di hadapan cermin, sudah solehahkah aku? 
-quoted

nota kaki:

• I thought I would starts using less quotes in my post but the I realised that some people have said it better, simpler but with great depth.