anagram aku: KAU

Aku.
Aku tidak mahu mengaku yang aku cuma gadis biasa.
Aku ingin menjadi yang berbeza, yang bisa kau kenal biar dari jauh sahaja.
Aku m
hu menjadi yang luar biasa, menjadi yang bisa engkau cinta.

Aku.
Hakikatnya biasa sahaja, tiada yang istimewa.
Aku masih perempuan yang suka bunga.
Masih juga perempuan yang menangis dalam tawa (vice versa).


Dan kau.
Masih juga tak kunjung tiba.



**************
Aku dari dulu tersepit antara konflik diri. Aku mahu menjadi seperti selayaknya seorang perempuan: ayu, sopan, lemah-lembut, baik hati............and the list goes on.
And yet I want to be different, so different that you can't find a two person like me. A person that you admires, someone yang boleh buat kau rasa, "Eh, siapa perempuan tu? She's different. I meant a good kind of different."

Tapi banyak sangat tengok cerita fantasi.
Itu masalahnya.
Kau tak muncul seperti putera berkuda putih kerana aku bukan seorang puteri.

So, what are we gonna do now?

a) wait until our path cross again
b) continue in our quest to find each other
c) fall in love with another person and forget you
d) pray to Allah that we'll meet again so that we'll have closure




Nota kaki:

• Since I couldn't really decide who I wanna be, so I tend to like/copy/be like a weird person. A person that make me say the same thing, "Eh, siapa perempuan tu? She's different. I meant a good kind of different."
• But maybe I'm just weird. I hope you like weird. 

A wish, a dream

I want to meet you---

A person with beautiful words,
The one with deep-meaning art,

Most of all, the one with a kind heart.





Nota kaki:

• If you asked me what kind of guy would I want as a husband, I don't have exact answer as I realised  that ideal guy doesn't exist. But if you insist--I definitely want a guy who can make me fall in love with Allah every single day, the one who would promise me that we would help each other to enter His jannah.

kak...kakak

I was choosing bananas from the rack in Reliance Fresh when suddenly I heard a voice said,

"kak..kakak!"

(a guy btw)

I was like 'siapa yang panggil aku ni?'

I felt so old and it sounded weird to be called as kakak by some stranger that I froze for a second and almost walked away..............but I didn't.

I turned to my right when he was standing, smile and had a small conversation. I could talked more but I guess because he called me kakak, I still can't get over the weird and old feeling.

I had been in the same situation in Surgery Ward. I was on the verge of laughing and feeling offended at the same time. Perhaps next time you can call me Zarifah (my formal name) or maybe Kak Dila if you insist to call me kakak.

nota kaki:

• Even my real adik-adik call me kak dila instead of kakak sahaja.
• It is weird because it was coming from a guy. I don't remember anyone call me kakak here. (kalau perempuan tu ada la)
• I met another malaysian guys while enjoying my pav bhaji. The conversation was better because we didn't use any name or kata ganti nama. Kesimpulannya, aku tak tahu pun aku tengah cakap dengan siapa. 
• I don't always have conversation with people in random places. I usually ingored those that in the category tak-kenal-pun-tapi-tahu-dia-Malaysian.