kak...kakak

I was choosing bananas from the rack in Reliance Fresh when suddenly I heard a voice said,

"kak..kakak!"

(a guy btw)

I was like 'siapa yang panggil aku ni?'

I felt so old and it sounded weird to be called as kakak by some stranger that I froze for a second and almost walked away..............but I didn't.

I turned to my right when he was standing, smile and had a small conversation. I could talked more but I guess because he called me kakak, I still can't get over the weird and old feeling.

I had been in the same situation in Surgery Ward. I was on the verge of laughing and feeling offended at the same time. Perhaps next time you can call me Zarifah (my formal name) or maybe Kak Dila if you insist to call me kakak.

nota kaki:

• Even my real adik-adik call me kak dila instead of kakak sahaja.
• It is weird because it was coming from a guy. I don't remember anyone call me kakak here. (kalau perempuan tu ada la)
• I met another malaysian guys while enjoying my pav bhaji. The conversation was better because we didn't use any name or kata ganti nama. Kesimpulannya, aku tak tahu pun aku tengah cakap dengan siapa. 
• I don't always have conversation with people in random places. I usually ingored those that in the category tak-kenal-pun-tapi-tahu-dia-Malaysian.

Day 1: Bangalore

Catching up with my date. Eh I meant my bag.

The smile on your face let me know that you need me

There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me

The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall

You say it best, when you say nothing at all

lagu yang tengah main kat cafe ni -__-"

Sometime stupidity gets the best of you
that you put someone's else feeling at stake
So stupid that only when the damage is done
you finally realized it.

Maybe it is not the stupidity that lead to this
Maybe it just that you are selfish
Thinking that the person would be fine if it happened
But you couldn't take it for yourself.

I wish self-punishment can undo the stupid things that I have done.
But the heart, once it break it is hard to mend.

So here I am sitting in the corner of a dark room
trying hard not to make any sound
because I couldn't face myself for the things I did
I am scared that my existence just to invoke pain in other people.