growing older...perhaps wiser?

I think age already catching up with me. I enjoyed the drive with complete silence. Just me and my thought because songs and never ending adverts just poison me.

But one thing that I do not like is that I do not enjoy making new acquintance, I mean I do not have the energy to pursue them, to win their heart. I am just tired and want to be alone.

I enjoy the solitude of my own company hahaha
Sounds so depressing but I am not. Or am I?
I wish I could change my heart and not being so stubborn to let people in. I wasn't aware if I am actually building wall to keep people away. It seems like I don't have any intention to let anyone in at the moment or being 'jinak-jinak merpati'. I just don't.

30 years

So the story begins....

30 years ago, I was born into this beautiful world. Not.





This might be true a few years from now that those kids that was born in 1990 will become a 30 years old adult. How surreal that feels even to me now. I never those that we, kids that grew up with sailormoon, dragon ballz, disney movies, power rangers etc etc already entered adulthood and a few has forgotten that they were once a child. A pure and innocent child. The world has poisoned them with needs and greeds that all the little things did not matter. The feelings and emotions that once too strong has disappear and they could not care less about it anymore. How sad life is.


I remember I met you 10 years ago and much have changes ever since. Don't worry I have move on. Just that on the days like this I would reminescence and travel back in time. I never though my life would turn out to be like this.

Would you?

Would you love me if you see me at my worst?
Would you love me if you see me now?
















I am fragile.
I am anxious.
I am depressed.

I cried.
I feel stupid.
I feel worthless.

I want to disappear.